Peek into the mind of Captain A. Bentwood.  War hero, political activist, guest columnist, and prosthetic nose-wearer.

         
              What the Deuce
           Spying is Illegal?

                           By 
            Captain L. Bentwood, Esq  

         

When did all this slap happy craziness begin? Isn’t this America with a capital A? Don't great Americans like James Bond mean anything to you? 

Since when is our President supposed to look for terrorists by telling them he is looking for them in the first place? Sheesh, as I like to say, that's like telling Paul Molitor that the next pitch is going to be a fast ball high outside.

Face it, there are terrorists all over the globe (maybe even in your own living room). If you have nothing to hide, then why are you so stump rubbin' worried? The first and fourth amendments are being shredded like Irish cabbage by the ACLU (American Crazy Left Underlings) and other whacko commie groups. 

And ask yourself this, can you define abuse? Random drug tests on athletes are legal, lie detector tests on Wal Mart employees are legal and wiretapping bad guys and gals is legal.  (And yes, there are bad gals too, they just wear less obviously terroristical clothing.)

The NSA is the National Security Agency or something, and what's their job? Security!  That's right.  If the National Security company can’t find terrorists, who is going to? Your mailman? Not mine I tells you. Mine couldn't find a goiter on a groundhog.

So, here we are. Alberto Gonzale says spying is legal. He is a lawyer, he would know. If the phone clicks when he calls Suarez  I don’t think he'll be filing any suits.  

Let it go folks. There are not going to be storm troopers marching down your street breaking your windows looking for phone records to Timbukthree. So be happy your government cares enough about you and goes out to catch the bad guys.

What if you lived in Bora Bora? I hear they don’t even check passports there!

 

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Media, the Court and Muslams

By Captain T.C. Bentwood
7/16/05

 

 

 Look, I have a lot of free time. I’m retired. People with free time have the ability to think and focus and spend time doing things other than worrying about their jobs, finances, mortgages and what not.

That being said, I think this whole Karl Rove thing needs to be addressed reasonably.  I mean, these Liberals (the losers and desperate criminals that they are) are trying to take the focus off of the war on terrorism and the war on drugs and all the other necessary wars we are conducting in the name of Democracy.

I gotta tell you, the details I get from Fox News, ABC Radio and the RNC web site really give you a picture of what the Liberal media is trying to pull. They want you to believe that the President’s main confidant and appreciative civil servant, Mr. Rove, is embroiled in some sort of wacko controversy.  Well let me tell you, that is the farthest thing from the truth.

First of all, look at the facts. This is all a smokescreen to discredit our Christian leader-in-chief. He is being pummeled as I write this by the Communist sympathizers that want us to return to the depression era New Deal policies that darn near ruined our country.

As far as that goes, I have to say I agree with one of the President’s closest supporters, Michael Medved.  He says that we are at war with Muslams and that Mislam is the most dangerous faith in the world. I mean, look at the London Chunnel killings! Those were carried out by Mislims. Really! Look at the reports!  Ah Medved, God bless him. He even said, “Moslims can’t make aeroplanes – the only thing they can make are bombs.” Here here!, I say sometimes.  Now that puts it right in the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

When we finally get a new Supreme Court justice that actually speaks to the Republicans in this country, maybe we can finally get some justice for the American people. Actually, we may get lucky this year and get three or four justices.  I think that would make us all a little more proud, don’t you? This country has got to defeat the scourge that’s plagued our people since the New Deal, and that is - government. It’s got to go. And our fine leader understands this and is in the process of dismantling it. Here, here I say again!

Now I’ve got to get back to my Radio program to see how this whole shebang plays out. Medved is about to really give it to a pinko that thinks the country should “understand other religions” and not be so “Christianocentric.” Ok commie boy, whatever that means!

Thank you,

Captain T.C. Bentwood

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                             Vote For The Brown One!
                                         
                                      by Capt. Bentwood


First of all, I have to say “here, here” to the men and women of our armed forces and fighting crew. I want to go on record right here and now to profess my support for our enlisted defenders of freedom.

I am so darned upset with these liberals that refuse to support our troops and provide aid and comfort to the enemy. My Eldorado (used, great deal) is an American car, built by American workers and supported by all of our armed defenders of freedom. My American vehicle has a magnetic yellow ribbon that shows my undying support for their efforts, and an American flag magnetic ribbon to further emphasize my support. I also have one of those pink thingies, whatever that’s for. I am sure it’s got to be something good for the troops.

Now, for the crux of my complaint. Since the war, I have been in and out of VA hospitals for various surgeries on my nose. I am truly glad for the efforts on their part, and for the great support of our grand and Christian leader, George W. Bush, without whom we would just be another sad country crying to the UN for help. His unwavering support of our servicemen and women makes me almost tear up. But I won’t, because that might make me seem like a homosexual, and believe me, I am not.

Now, I have read some things on this site that make me sick. The puppet that swears is just downright wrong. The four letter words are not necessary. The liberal bias on the internet needs to be curtailed, and I hope in the remainder of our fearless leader GWB’s Presidential term, he can do something about this. We need to police the web some more and get rid of these pornographers. I appreciate the space here, but something must be done.

Now, let’s get to the Supreme Court. Look, for too long liberals and their cronies have been running the MSM (main stream media) and the Supreme Court. Their laws have just about ruined our country. I ask you to join me in my quest to help our President in finally getting someone with our viewpoint on the court.

At last count there were 2 gals, a Negro, a few homosexuals, and some namby-pamby middle of the roaders running things. Let’s get someone in there that truly represents the majority of this country. Vote for Alberto Gonzales now! I have no problems with a Brown One if he supports our President and believes that corporate America knows better than average people or the congress, and especially NPR or the CPB. Also, saying that the Geneva Conventions are ‘quaint’ made me laugh until I peed my BVDs.

Let’s get on with changing the courts back to conservative values, and let’s start with the Supreme one. Let’s impeach the ones that do not represent us, then, let’s have a beer.

I would like to thank American Sideshow for allowing me this opportunity.  Hopefully together we can keep the lesbian Hillary and the drunken Kennedy and the Homosexual Barney Frank away from our kids long enough to enact what is right for America: Unfettered gun access, no abortion, and death to all people that commit heinous crimes.

                                                                                               
Sincerely and patriotically, 

Your Captain!

 

 

____________________________________________________ 
                                 
                        Chemical Weapons in Iraq 
                               It's Pure Bunkers!
                                                by
                                         Capt. Bentwood 
                               11/11/05 Veteran's Day
 

 

We Are At War, People!

By Captain A.X. Bentwood  8/2/05

OK, alright. I’ve had enough. Sure, we all support the troops. Sure, we all want to fight terrorism at home and abroad. Sure, we want to drive our big vehicles and keep our air conditioning set at 68 degrees all summer.  Who doesn’t, I ask you?

Well, how do you think we can accomplish this and continue to enjoy the pleasures of our God-given freedom?  Stay the course, you say. Fight the good fight. Our finest are doing their jobs to the best of their abilities and training to help us continue our lives uninterrupted.

My friend, you don’t know the half of it. We are at WAR, darnit. Yes, I said it. War.  War with Muslims, war with terrorists, war with idealists, war with those that hate our freedoms that we have fought hard to achieve and sustain, as I like to say.

Now, how do you think the troops feel when they come home and see that we are simply continuing our flamboyant lifestyles while they risk life and limb so that we can take the boys to soccer in the Astrovan? “They joined and that is their job,” you say. Well, true as that may be, they still have offered voluntarily the greatest sacrifice - their lives. They fight bravely for what we here in the states continue to enjoy: safety, security, baseball games and our beautiful wives.  (Or just one, actually, you know what I mean.)

Now, I have to stop and pause for a minute before I go whole hog in my fervor.  I was in a war and know what it’s like. I’ve had the experience that few have the pleasure  to talk about - the camaraderie, the exhilarating fight, the freedom-loving, and above all – the sacrifice!

You half-cocked, magnet-on-car-donning, “patriotism-light” brats don’t know what it’s like to be in a war. Sacrifice!  You have done nothing to help the cause besides support the magnetic industry.

If you really cared about the debt that this is creating, you would do as we did back in the day, as I like to say. Give the Government your tin. Give the Government your rubber. Stop driving to work and get out on the highway and walk.  Do your part!  Don’t ride with the devil!

“Oh,” as those smarty pants Democrats have said, “there is no real debt because the FED is really a private organization that is a consortium of the world’s 10 largest banks, to which we are in debt. They print the money for the cost of paper and labor, and we borrow it at the prime rate.  The beneficiaries are the banks themselves, so the actual debt is manufactured and really just profit to the banks as all war debts are.   And because they’re not really hard assets or actual debt, why should we try and scrimp and save and sacrifice when we can just blow it off?”

Well, I don’t know what the hell all that means, you commie freaks, but we have a goal to accomplish, and without real suffering from everyone, and a sustained commitment to total victory from all, we are doomed to end up like all failed regimes, being under the control of a foreign party, like, say the UN or China, or Saudi Arabia, or whomever else owns most of our country in investments.

The time is nigh. We have to start taking responsibility for our war, not just our armed service men and women, and assume a risk and suffer a bit to achieve our ultimate goal: the defeat of our rivals!

Stop thinking it is only the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and don’t forget the Reserves and Coast Guard! YOU need to be at the forefront of protecting our Democracy and our way of life.

I love our country and want to make sure that we continue to be the bastion of example for the world. This is the greatest country in the history of the world, as my hero, Michael Medved says, and we need to treat it that way. A passive stance to this time of need only aids the enemy.

Put your mind to work, and sacrifice! See where you can cut, and see where you can help.  A wacky liberal would rant, “Money is not real, it is just a faith based system that breaks down as soon as no one believes its worth. The national debt is bogus and really only beholden to the international banking industry.  Our country only borrows money that the Federal Reserve prints when it wants it, and if it is not domestic, then it does not effect our interest rates or inflation or unemployment, so what do we care really? If we were not in debt for our houses and cars, and we paid off all of our loans, we would not even need the Fed and could simply print US Dollars as Kennedy and Lincoln tried to do.”

I don’t even know what you are talking about.

I say Piffle. God knows we are on the right side, and without our concerted effort to do the right thing, he will not assist us. God helps those that help themselves.

Again, volunteer your time, see where you can reduce, and by all means, send a letter to one of your fine serviceman or woman. As Major General Robert Scales Jr. recently said:
“Despite the enormous impact of September 11, it hasn’t really translated into a national movement towards fighting the war on terrorism.”

Nuff said. Well done, Major General.

Thank you,

Captain A.X. Bentwood