__________________________________
The American
Sideshow
List of Nods
___________________
As the winner of the 2005 Arbiter of Taste Award, American Sideshow is proud to present this year's List of Nods - your one-stop shopping guide to all that's good in the world.
Please note: As thorough as we try to be, this list is by no means comprehensive. We just didn't have enough room for the downfall of the Republican party, Spainards, and crisp Autumn mornings.
Here goes...
Jelly Roll Morton - "The Pearls"
Quite simply the best music ever made. If you don't like Jelly Roll, American Sideshow really doesn't want to know you.
Carson McCullers - "The Ballad of the Sad Cafe"
Perhaps the best short story ever written.
Bill Maher
Bill, call me. We'll agree on everything except strippers and the state of Isreal.
Fennel
It's because of this complex herb that I always blush and ask my sausagemaker for "6 sweet Italians."
The Oregon Coast
America's most beautiful natural wonder. This part of the country also has more oxygen than the rest, so feel free to leave the drugs at home.
Lunch Hour Sex
A nice way to break up the day, plus, it's good to know you'll still have 10 hours left for more.
The Half-Hour Stroll
Always restorative, and particularly good after Lunch Hour Sex.
Brasscheck.com
A must for exploring censored issues. American Sideshow has never been the same after viewing the revolutionary documentary "Loose Change."
The Scent of a 19th Century Wardrobe
Don't ask, just stick your head in and breathe.
The Spotted Cat
New Orleans' coolest jazz club. It's impossible to not have a good time here, especially if it's Friday night and the Vipers are playing.
Keith Olbermann
One of America's true patriots, and a dishy one at that.
The Jews
Bright, witty, and overwhelmingly talented, thank God they have been wandering for all these years. Here are a few: Woody Allen, Tom Lehrer, The Marx Brothers, Fran Liebowitz, Jon Stewert, Sacha Baron Cohen, Andy Borowitz, Paula Poundstone...do I need to go on?
Vodka
Next to top-shelf tequila it's the best legal high you can get without taking off your underpants.
The Decemberists
With their dark, poetic lyrics these accomplished muscians never fail to impress. Plus, there just aren't enough songs written about double suicide anymore.
Corn Nuts
Are they nuts? Are they corn? Who cares, they're delicious and if they get stale you can throw them at squirrels.
The Films of Stanley Kubrick
Exceptional in every way, yet radically different from one another. Treat yourself and see them all.
K-Y Jelly
The old stand-by. Washes easily out of hair, clothing, and car upholstery.
Canadians
Our neighbors to the North are smart and practical....and the chip on their shoulder isn't nearly as big as the French.
Coconut
American Sideshow will do anything for coconut, you heard me, anything.
Goosedown
Fun to lay on, lay in, and wrap around yourself in a Michelin Man-like bundle.
The Jon Stewart - Steven Colbert Combo
Believe me, American Sidehow would like to be the creamy-white center of that brain sandwich.
Flannery O'Connor
The greatest Southern writer of them all. Maybe the greatest writer period...
Kurt Vonnegut
No...the greatest writer period.
Dead Man
Just see it...Ed Wood too.
The Bona Fide Road Trip
A great excuse to shirk responsibility, eat junk food, and forgo bathing for at least a week.
Eddie Murphy
Peter Sellers x 2.
Foot Rubs
Could be even better than an orgasm, American Sidehshow is requesting more grant money for research.
New Orleans Hospitality
Next to the Irish, the best in the world. Come on down for some Ya Ya y'all.
Fresh Rosemary
Wonderful on cooked meats, it also makes an excellent corsage.
Alan Partridge
Knowing me Alan Partridge, knowing you American Sideshow....Ahhhhhhhhh Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Slapshot
Could be the funniest movie ever made. Plus, it stars Paul Newman -the greatest actor to never win an Oscar.
A Double Feature of Pulp Fiction and Good Fellas
Now there's a good night at the movies.
Marlon Brando's Upper Lip
That's really all I remember about Super Man...
Jennifer Connelly's Eyebrows
Like two caterpillars comingling in an orgy of sensuality, I'm afraid these beasts have recently been plucked of their mystery.
A Hot Bowl of Bisque
The best shrimp bisque in the world can be had at The Dry Dock Cafe in Algiers Point, Louisiana, just a ferry ride away from New Orleans' French Quarter.
The 1962 Buick LeSabre
Official car of American Sideshow, this classic has seats so big and plush you'd think you were driving your livingroom to the movies. In our opinion, next to Yippies, The Beatles and your's truly, it's really the only good thing to come out of this era.
